The Heart

I am sitting in my apartment watching the brave and noble William Wallace be tortured while the townsfolk scream out mercy. Such an amazing scene when William does not scream out mercy, but freedom. "Everyman dies. Not everyman really lives." This is true. We will all die, but some of us do not really live. What does it mean to really live? I am sure many different people can give many different answers to that question, but to really live is to have lived a life that honored Christ. To have a personal relationship with Him, and to obey, trust, and honor the One True God.

We are the 2nd week of a 12 week sermon series...and let me just tell you...WOW. I started having heart stirs about 4 weeks ago when we had a 3 week series called Serve. So many things going thru my mind...and my heart. Today, as pastor was talking he was talking about things that give you stress and anxiety, things that consume you...I had pinpointed one thing in particular, and then he made the point that those are the smoke to the pile of the thing that is our idol. Wow, heart stabber. I had not recognized that I was idolizing this thing in particular. It is something that has been bothering me and stressing me a bit, and as soon as I recognized it as an idol, I just said to myself, "ash, let go and let God." That is what I am doing. It is in His hands. Yes, I know I will most likely think on this, and I am sure there will be more stress and anxiety, but I know that Jesus will take care of me and all that surrounds me. My heart knows the truth. Back to our new sermon series...it is on David...and we are going to be discussing it in our small groups as well. I am pretty excited...no, I am very excited.

Let me share my heart for a moment...I have changed my major back to Psychology:Christian Counseling...and I am pumped. Class officially starts back tomorrow, and I have already started reading. I know this is what the Lord wants me to study because I know I will either work in a church or school or some place where I can help point those who are hurting to the only Healer. I am excited, I am ready, I am honored.

okay...I am out of thoughts for the moment...actually, I am just really distracted...:)

In the zone...the comfort zone

Comfort zone. Where most people like to be. Where I like to be. I like to know the details. I like to know what is going on, to feel comfortable. I, I, I. Are you catching my drift on all thos I's? Not that it has to be about me, but I just like to know. Here is an example...my leap of faith I took to go on the YP's beach trip...sure that was out of my comfort zone in many ways, BUT I sneakily turned it into a comfort zone. You see, Adam, my brother, is one of my comfort zones. He knows me...and he knew that I wouldn't go if he didn't...so I went because I had my comfort zone there. Sure, being in your own personal bubble is not a bad thing, but when you never step outside and put yourself in a position of vulnerability, you probably won't get too far. I am learning this. I have 2 levels of comfort zone/personal bubble. The personal bubble...I will begin there...touchy feely...that is not me, but I am slowly but surely changing that, and it feels great!! I think that it all spurned from insecurities that I have had, but let me just tell you that a hug can make all the difference...I actually would like one right now...okay people that know me, pick your jaw off the floor. My other level is as I stated before, I just like to know what is going on where I am going. Not someone who likes to be caught off guard. For the few people out there who have ever asked me out...and there are few...a "date" would be something out of my comfort zone...so I make excuses and never go...or I go, and am not me...I am quieter...and embarassed because I am not in my zone. Wow, I am really sharing my issues...HAHA. Anyway, I am learning and growing, and want to be put in situations where my comfort zone is not there, and where my bubble boundary is breached. When I really look at my life...I am only in situations I am comfy with...family business, live alone, I drive and never ride...holy smokes...control issues. O boy do I crack myself up. I am going to stop sharing now...you are seeing too much of me...and im getting uncomfy :)

Early bird

At 3AM this morning I awoke and was filled with energy. I don't know about you, but until my alram goes off, I do not want to be awake...even to go to the bathroom. I treasure every ounce of sleep I get. Maybe I woke up so early because I went to bed really early...anway, I decided to move to the couch and see if I would fall back asleep there, but then I thought...yes, I can think that early...why don't I use this time to pray. For the next 30 minutes I prayed for family, for friends, and many other things...then I was REALLY awake...so, I did my devotions. What a sweet time meeting with Jesus so early this morning! I am a bit tired now...it is 6:20, but at the moment when I was praying and studying, I was filled with overflowing energy. If it wasn't dark outside, and if my dad approved, I would have gone for a run when I finished. I am normally an early bird, but this morning I was an extreme early bird. It makes me want to meet with Jesus every morning at that time, but to be completely honest, I know I will have MAJOR difficulty with that.
Here starts a new day. We all have a choice to make every morning when we get out of bed. Are we going to honor the Lord with our thoughts and actions, or are we going to be debbie downers and sulk in dumb stuff that happens? Whatever goes on today...if it is not all that fine and dandy...laugh it off. Praise the Lord for blonde moments, and stubbed toes...seriously it's funny...it may not be at the moment, but really...it is funny.
A quote a read in my Beth Moore bible study...and I won't get the words exact because I do not have it right here with me, but it goes a little something like this..."we may not be able to change the way we feel, but we can change the way we think, which will in turn change the way we feel." So, how are you thinking today? If you think negatively, trust me, your day is going to bite. Be like Peter Pan...think happy thoughts...and then you can fly!! :)

Booty Camp

It is 11:45 on Saturday morning. I have been up since 6...started running around 6:45, and ran 9 miles. Got finished, changed, got some coffee, and then headed to boot camp. I am going to call it booty camp because it really kicked my booty. I am a fan of a challenge. Even though it was incredibly hard, it was incredibly fun, and I will definitely do it again! We did an obstacle course...and then we split into 2 teams and competed for time. I am proud to say that my team won!! Woohoo. BUT, I will give major credit to our shaved time to Jerry. He is amazing, and a pistol when it comes to this stuff! Next we went and hung out on a wall...which was a major quad burn...and well, ouch. Then we lunged for 5 minutes. When I got home I looked at the 3 flights of stairs that I climb many times a day, and could barely get up them. Haha. I have even already had issues getting off the floor to walk into my room...which is 2 feet away from where I am sitting. HAHA. So awesome! Love it!

I am so excited about this afternoon! I am going to the Clemson v UNC game with my sister, Jana, and Brian. Amber and I will be representing our Tigers where Jana and Brian are pullin for the Heels. This is going to be ALOT of fun!

I am a busy bee...and I love it!

Count down

I have begun my countdown. Counting today...Molly and I leave for NYC in 10 days!!!! WOOHOOO!!! I am sooo excited! We depart in the morning on the 16th and will return to NC on the 19th! On Sunday, the 17th, we are going to see Mary Poppins on Broadway...which I am EXTREMELY excited about! Other than that for sure, I am not 100% positive what we will be doing...whatever it is, I know we are going to have a blast! Upon arriving back in NC on the 19th around 2:30...our plan is to go to the NC State Fair and eat dinner...which of coarse means we will be eating delicious junk! Yay!!!
So much is going on right now...let me just name a few
I found out my sister is preggers with Baby Medlin #2!
NYC
finishing up these 2 classes and then starting 2 more...hopefully I will fare better in the next 2!
And more stuff, but I won't share all my enchanting details! :)
2 posts for October...go ASHLEY!!! hah

Need to know

How can I share Jesus with those that I work with? What is the right time and how do I bring up my faith? I know that I work with many people that are Christians and love Jesus, and I have no problem whatsoever chatting with them and talking about things to pray for each other for, but when it comes to the ones I am unsure about, I just do not know how to go about it. There is a small language barrier in some cases, but what is my excuse for the ones where there is no barrier? Why am I not being more bold? I know I can have shy moments, but not around these people, who I have known forever. And then there are friends, people I have known basically my whole life...people who I like to believe have a relationship with Jesus, but I never bring up because I am comfortabe. But I need to know. I want to know that we will be laughing together one day in heaven. I know that when asked to give your testimony, sometimes it is intimidating, and you would rather just keep your mouth shut. A week ago I visited a new small group, and having known these people for about 15 mintues, I was asked to share my testimony. My blood started pumping and I got really excited! What a neat way to REALLY get to know your new friends than by sharing what Jesus has done in your life!! Then, a few days later, I met a new friend, and immediately we shared our love for Jesus and what He has done in our lives. Talk about instant friendship right there! With all this said, I need to know. I need to know where you stand...I want to know your testimony...if you aren't a Christian, talk to me...tell me why. I just want to know the when I get to heaven I am going to see all of you. So, for those of you that read my inconsistent blog, please take the time and share with me...either leave a comment here, message me on facebook, or email me at aecox5@gmail.com
I can't wait to hear from you all.
On a side note...please pray that I can be bold face to face with people at work and with friends that I am around. I am praying for you as well!! :)